The L-d G-d then formed the man [from] the dust of the ground, and He blew into his nostrils the breath of life. And so man became
nefesh chayah. (Genesis 2:7 from Torah)
Nefesh chayah is translated from Hebrew into English as "the spirit of speech." According to this, the ability to speak is the result of the merger of the physical and the spiritual within man. Man alone among creation is endowed with this ability, a result of having a soul.
Kaballah, in the Zohar, explains that the misuse of words --
lashon hara, "evil speech" -- is the same sin that the serpent was guilty of in the Garden of Eden and is just as serious when we do it. That’s something to think about!
Genesis 1:27 says, “G-d created man in his own image, in the image of G-d created He him.” So to speak about another person in a negative manner is tantamount to rejecting the image of G-d in that person.
Our speech has more power than we realize. The harm done by negative speech is even worse than the harm done by stealing or by cheating someone financially: money lost can be repaid, but the harm done by speech can never be repaired. Speech can be compared to an arrow: once our words are released, like an arrow, they cannot be recalled, the harm they do cannot be stopped, and the harm they do cannot always be predicted, for words like arrows often go astray.
Lashon Hara/Evil Speech/Gossip/Disparaging Speech means saying anything about another person, even it is true, even if it is not negative, even if it hurts no one, even if the person himself would tell the same thing if asked.
We are not to even imply or suggest negative things about a person - even in jest We simply are not to spend our time speaking about people when they are not present.
The person who listens to gossip is even worse than the person who tells it, because no harm could be done by gossip if no one listened to it. It has been said that lashon hara kills three: the person who speaks it, the person who hears it, and the person about whom it is told.
All things are considered to be secret unless a person specifically says otherwise.
Lashon hara is equal in seriousness to murder, idol worship, incest, and adultery.
It is generally acceptable to repeat things that have been told in the presence of three persons because if it is told in the presence of three persons, it is already public knowledge, and no harm can come from retelling it. However, even in this case, we should not repeat it if we know we will be spreading the gossip further.
A person is also required to reveal information to protect a person from immediate, serious harm. For example, if a person hears that others are plotting to kill someone, he is required to reveal this information.
In limited circumstances, one is also permitted to reveal information if someone is entering into a relationship that he would not enter if he knew certain information. For example, it may be permissible to tell a person that his prospective business partner is untrustworthy, or that a prospective spouse has a disease.
Leviticus 25:17 in the Torah says, "You shall not wrong one another." This has traditionally been interpreted as wronging a person with speech. It includes any statement that will embarrass, insult or deceive a person, or cause a person emotional pain or distress.
Proverbs 16:24 in the Tanach tells us, “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. “
James 3:10 in the Christian Bible states, “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.”
All my life I have heard, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This simply is not true. Words do hurt people. Sometimes more than even sticks and stones do!
My Mother always told us girls, “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.” That is pretty good advice. I am going to work on following it.
